[Old School 93/94]: Why Hammerheim is better than Mountain in almost every single way (You heard me!)

Mountain is trash.  Mountain is a bad card.  Hammerheim is a superior magical card.  Mountain, for the following reasons, does not often belong in your 93/94 deck:

(Disclaimer: this article is intended to be as satirical as it is educational.)

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PROS

1.  Cost.

The cheapest Beta Mountain is about $19 (Source: MTG Stocks).  However, the average Hammerheim is only about $9 (Source: MTG Stocks).  Therefore, you can black-border (“BB”) out your Old School deck for ten less bucks!  My unpowered “competitive” Old School deck is just about $1,100 on average.  That makes Hammerheim a savings of almost 1%!!

2.  Immune to nonbasic hate.

One could make the argument that all five Legends Legendary locations have the same pros/cons, but only Hammerheim is immune to nonbasic hate.  Your opponents’ Blood Moons just turn it back into the freaking Mountain you saved $10 on, anyways.

3.  Immune to Mountainwalk.

Again, all five Legends Legendary locations have immunity to their respective basic landwalk, but Hammerheim’s bonus ability on top of Mountain literally taps to remove that very drawback.  Who doesn’t mind playing a land that doesn’t provide any mana in order to fuck over your opponents Goblin King, River Merfolk, Mountain Yeti and/or anything with Burrowing on it?

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4.  #swag

Bryon Wackwitz’s signature is pretty easy to get.  He’s at like every GP and SCG out here in New England.  And isn’t Old School just about #swag?

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5.  Immune to Flash Flood / anything else which specifically targets Mountains.

Hey, at least Flash Flood is playable.  Unlike Mountain!

CONS

1.  Livonya Silone, but not really.

Other than the cons that any land has against Sinkhole, Hammerheim’s only weakness is against Livonya Silone’s Legendary Landwalk, which Hammerheim can tap to remove, anyways!

2.  It’s not a Mountain.

And thank God for that, because Mountain is terrible.  However, if this is your only “Mountain,” well then you can’t fetch it with Untamed Wilds or Land Tax.

3.  It’s Legendary.

It’s legendary, but who really cares?  You probably aren’t running more than one Mountain, anyways.  Most of our mana in Old School comes from 4-12 dual lands, anyways.  Finally, Mono Red is not competitive.  Face the music, people.

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